Greetings. 

Any non-author probably has no idea what it's like to be an Independent Author. First of all thank the Lord Jesus I currently have a good paying job. My family would starve on what I've made as an Indie Author. I do not in ANY WAY recommend it as a primary source o income. You spend money advertising and get next to no sales. It's basically all expense and no income. 

Then, what's even worse is the constant stream of con emails and phone calls you get, people promising you the world. It can't say for sure there all a con, but I've got enough experience to reasonably think so. Someone wanted $250 just to do x-ray enablement and A+ contenting. So I did it myself, and did it well, better than someone could do who didn't know my book. Do you know how many sales I got...$0. That's right zero, didn't even move the needle. 

You get men writing you from Africa, pretending to be women, going by the name of Rose or Elizabeth Karen on Fiverr from the UK, and they are men. They can barely speak English. They probably use AI to even communicate with you. This person who could barely speak English wanted $250 per month to market my book. I seriously wouldn't pay them 250 cents to do any marketing for me. I'd seriously rather give it to a bum in the streets. 

These people all use gmail accounts. I've started seriously telling some of them find something other than gmail. Nothing says Shyster like a gmail account. 

Some of them pretend to be famous authors. I've seriously got emails from Daniel Silva, James Patterson, Evie Woods, and others. At least Evie Woods warns people she's being impersonated on gmail. Thanks Evie, appreciate it, for real! What these lying dufuses don't realize is even a complete moron isn't going to believe that several famous authors like their work.

The, on top of that, for real, come the death threats. I can't say all Indies get them, but I started getting them, I told some of these guys who I was actually considering that I'm not doing business unless I can do a lie video conference, get a business address, see a LinkedIn account or something that makes them more than just an anonymous email address. I laugh at them. 

Some of their threats are ridiculously over the top.  Of the many things this scum of the earth threatens, the only one that's mildly plausible is to flood me with bad reviews. I would love if they did that if they at least bought a book to give a verified purchase. Maybe they reason they haven't done this yet is they be helping if they starting doing that by giving me enough reviews to get noticed. I'm wildly speculating here. More likely is these cowards are too lazy to actually follow through on any of there threats. 

So, I now say to you out there, if you got some kind of scheme, don't bother. whatever new marketing service or scheme you have, I'm not interested. I may ask you a question. I'm just fooling around with you. I'll try to catch you in a lie just for fun. I will NEVER do business with you. If you want to waste your time, go ahead. Maybe I'll delete it, maybe I'll respond. 

One last thing these turkey's do. They'll try to tell you they read your book, but it's obvious they are just quoting the blurb. I love to mess with these guys. Then they say "oh, you caught me," as if I'd really do business with a liar. Hallaroius.  Not only that, but what these turkeys may not even know is as any author, you've got access to reports so you can see what you've sold! Some liar comes and says I just read your book, and I see no kindle pages read or no sales in 2 weeks!

At least it's not been boring!!